Hey, Washington: Get out of my underpants!

July 2, 2026

Dear Readers, I come to you today with something completely different: a comment I recently made in the Federal Register.

What is the Federal Register?

It's a place where the government posts proposed rules that will be enforced by the regulatory state. Because this cuts out the need for legislative debate, they're required to let private citizens to express their thoughts on these rules before they're enacted.

Which rule are you worried about?

OFFICE OF MANAGEMENT AND BUDGET (OMB) Regulation for Federal Financial Assistance (OMB-2026-0034-0001).

And yes, that's the best naming convention the federal government could come up with, apparently.

What's wrong with it?

It's anti-trans bullshit, that's what.

Did you tell them that?

Sure, but I also had to approach it in a manner that would appeal to people who don't see anti-transness as an automatic dealbreaker. With that in mind, allow me to tell you what I told them:

If finalized, this rule would affect nearly every hospital, university, school district, state government, nonprofit, and homeless shelter in this country. I am very wary of any regulation that has such sweeping effects without going through Congressional debate. Since this is being handled as part of the regulatory state, however, I will make my comments here. This rule would forbid funding for any organization which directly or indirectly supported the right of intersex and transgender Americans to live, work, and receive healthcare in this country. I understand that this would be a desirable outcome in the eyes of people who want to discriminate against intersex and trans people for how they were born. What I believe those people overlook, however, is the disastrous effect this rule would also have on the lives of cisgender women who value their access to healthcare, education, housing, and government services. If agencies are required to deny services to all people whose existence constitutes "gender ideology," as a condition of funding, then they will need to assess all potential clients' gender and biological sex in order to ensure compliance. In other words, I - a cisgender woman - would need to prove I was cisgender in order to stay at a women's shelter, receive healthcare at a women's clinic, or similar services. The privacy concerns are massive. I don't want the federal government involved in the question of what's in my underpants. In addition to the cruelty and intrusiveness of this policy, I am baffled by the waste of resources. Implementing and enforcing a rule that affects ALL agencies that receive ANY federal funding is, to put it mildly, a massive undertaking. Yet trans and intersex people make up approximately 1-2% of the US population, and a commensurate amount of services provided by schools, hospitals, state governments, nonprofits, and so forth. On what grounds can any fiscal conservative justify the workhours that the regulatory state would need to put in to prevent federal funding going to agencies that might support such a tiny sliver of Americans? Discrimination on the basis of sex is unconstitutional and immoral in the first place. Even if it weren't, though, this rule would be an irresponsible use of the power of the state. Please reject it.

How can we add our comments?

Go to Regulations.gov and add your thoughts. The comment period ends on July 13.

Until then, keep your sexy lamps burning.

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Male protagonists of long-running franchises tend to be unlucky in love, by which I mean their girlfriends tend to die. The Dead Fictional Girlfriends Research Report tracks and analyzes this phenomenon - its causes, its prevalence, and its implications for the world of entertainment (and beyond).

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